March 13th, 2023. Solo 365 has officially ended... where to begin?
Well, where else but the beginning.
For those of you who don't know me personally or haven't followed along on my TikTok docuseries- "Solo 365" is the nickname I gave to the past year of my life that I dedicated to intentional singleness. Solo 365 was less about "not dating" and more about what I would be filling that time with. I made a vow to the Lord that I would spend a full year building and strengthening my relationship with Him without adding a romantic relationship element.
I had a multitude of factors that played into my decision to make this vow, but here are my top three summarized: (Or, hear me read them aloud: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR7MtaQm/ )
1. To practice self discipline. My persistence gets me far and can be a good trait; However, I had taught myself the unhealthy habit of not taking no for an answer. Though I wish that it would, my will does not always align with the Lord's will. I need to be okay saying no to my flesh. I very much want to love and be loved, and for a while I would fall for "love" wherever I found attention. It is not wrong to have desires for a relationship, but I caught myself falling for any attractive "godly" guy without necessarily knowing him or seeing his provenness. I so badly wanted to say "YES" to a relationship no matter the cost, but I needed to practice the discipline of "no" or "not yet." I knew then that growing myself in patience and self discipline would be a blessing for my walk with the Lord, my overall life, and (Lord willing) my future husband. With that- implementing a time frame where I would say "no" even if the "perfect" guy approached me was a way for me to grow in this area of discipline and sacrificing my own desires for the Lord. Proverbs 25:28 "A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls."
2. To be the woman a godly man would want. I've been asked the question many times "what do you look for in a godly husband?" to which I'll respond "____" and the questioner will ask me "do you fit that description?" Now, I will never be perfect. None of us will be, as we are all constantly getting sanctified, but that doesn't mean there isn't wisdom in growing in specific areas before getting into a relationship. There were many areas I wanted to grow in before getting into a relationship. I knew that if the Lord wills for me to have a husband, he (both God and said husband) would want me to be a blessing, not a burden. Proverbs 25:24 "It is better to live in a corner of the roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman."
3. To be content in Christ alone / overall contentment. Now we've mentioned the "future husband" quite a bit here, but I wouldn't be submitting to The Lord's will for my life if I claimed that I surely have one out there. God does call certain individuals to singleness and they are used better this way for the kingdom of the Lord. If the Lord doesn't have anyone for me, will my heart be satisfied? Surely the answer was no when I began Solo 365... and that needed to change. What better way to change that to give up relationships except with my one and only savior for a period of time to find fulfilment and satisfaction! Psalm 107:9 For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.
I could have chosen hundreds of other verses and passages to backup the wisdom in these growth areas because, Biblically, I know that this is the Lord's will for us. To have self control is a fruit of the spirit. To please the Lord and pursue godliness, whether as a wife or as a single, is commanded. To be content and find your satisfaction in only God, and not in worldly idols or materialism, is a yet another command. The Bible affirms these truths tenfold.
I wrote all of these reasons out when I first began Solo 365. As I write them again now, my heart is overjoyed as I truly do believe I have grown in all three of the areas I wanted to when I first made the decision to take this year. God has done a work in me, and I see the fruit of sanctification. Praise the Lord, my heart smiles at the thought.
Now, just as I suspected, I am not hopping into any relationships now that Solo 365 has come to an end. It is, and always has been, The Lord's perfect timing and plan that will lead me. I took the year to grow in certain areas, to develop godly habits, and to remove a distraction from doing so. I am going to continue with the same zeal in pursuit of the Lord and sanctification, seek Him in my decisions, and trust that His will be done. Whether that means dating, marriage, singleness- whatever! I desire most to align my will with His. One step at a time- Matthew 6:34 is “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Wow, the growth! I could not have said that in all honesty a year ago!
Cheers to a wonderful year of growing and loving The Lord, more. All glory be to Christ! I pray that each of you would find the peace that I have found in His promises.
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son,
that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
If you are reading this and have questions about the gospel or what I mean by finding peace in Christ- PLEASE reach out to me and I would love to talk more!